You've Come Along Way, Baby

This is the 3rd Chapter of the book, Voices of the True Woman Movement by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. You can read Chapter 1 here and Chapter 2 here.

'You've come along way, Baby' is by Mary A. Kassian. She does a very good job at giving a history lesson in this chapter. I love History, so found it very interesting. But not sure I'll cover much of that aspect of it.

It depicts the Woman's Movement of the late 60's and 70's. All of the promises and hopes that many are realizing are not bringing the satisfaction and fulfillment that is was said to bring.

50 years ago life was almost totally different. Here's a partial-abbreviated list of 'Real Life Observations from the 50's'.

• Getting married was the norm.
• Once married the couple would have children, the husband would work to support the wife so she could stay at home with the children.
• The divorce rate was low. Couples were expected to remain married and make their marriage work. Divorce was considered a tragedy.
• If divorce did occur & there were kids involved, the ex-husband was expected to support the wife in a homemaking role, because society considered it vitally important that the children have a mom at home.
• Chasity, virginity, and fidelity were virtues. And sex outside of marriage was shameful.
• Having a child out of wedlock was considered shameful. Now 1 child is born outside of wedlock every 25 seconds.
• Only 30% of women were employed outside of the home. And then it was only a part time job.
• Children were a highly desired, a highly valued, and a highly welcomed addition to both family and community.
• No birth control pill.
• Abortion was illegal.
• Men saw it as their responsibility to protect and provide for the women and children under their care.
• Woman saw it as their responsibility to support their husbands and focus on raising their children in a stable, nurturing, loving environment. Their professional careers took secondary status to their primary and more important career of raising and nurturing the next generation.

Our world has changed a lot since then, has it not?!?!?!? And it's all because women are seeking 'liberation'. They thought they were no longer finding fulfillment in God's Original Plan for Order.

'So in a few short decades the idea of a happy fulfilled woman has gone from one who values and serves her children, her husband and her community, to one who serves and exalts herself, sees men as dispensable, and considers children to be optional add-ons to her quest for fulfillment.'

And here she begins her 'history lesson'. How women were made to think they needed to become equal with men, they didn't want to be serving them anymore. They were made to feel their God-given role of wife and homemaker no longer was satisfying.

Women were made to think they needed to define their own existence.

Women were 'made to think that as a whole they needed enlightenment. They needed to discover how really oppressed they were'.

As women's 'eye's were opened', they began to rename the world. They 'needed to challenge and change that which men had constructed for their own benefits'. They 'needed to look at the world through the lenses of female experience and come up with new values and definitions'. Even school curricula was rewritten to reflect a feminist world view.

They even renamed God to a 'She'. They didn't like to think of the male role as being the dominate one.

'The underlying premise of feminism is that 'women need and can trust no other authority then our own personal truth.' Feminism teaches that women ought not to bow down and submit to any external power.'

It's is so sad that our world has come to just accept this as the norm, when the Bible states things so clearly in the opposite light.

1 Corinthians 11 states that, 'Man did not come from woman, but the woman from man; neither was man created for the woman but the woman for man'. How much clearer can it get?? The two sexes are different and were created for different roles.

However!! We will not find the true, deep satisfaction of the heart just by being a wife/homemaker. Our deepest longings and satisfactions will come only when we have yielded our lives completely and totally to Christ!! He is the only one who will be able to fill the void in our lives.

'A woman is a true woman when her heart says yes to God!!'

Today's women are searching for answers, they want to know how to make life work. We need a Biblical understanding of manhood, womanhood and gender relationships.

Blessing Our Husbands

Father's Day, a wonderful time to bless the Father/Husband in your home, as well as the Father of your life. What a great opportunity to do something special for them. Many times I try to think of something creative... and this year was no different. (I did splurge on my man this year!! {He just doesn't know it yet.} And I can't wait to see his face!!)

But another way to bless the Husband/Father/Provider of your home maybe simpler then you think. And it may bless him in more ways then you could ever know.

A couple weeks ago, my cousin, posted on her blog this post. And it got me to do some thinking. {Not a new experience, by the way. smile} But at looking for ways to bless my husband in ways that he notices, understands and feels.

There are many books & writings out there on 'How to love your man', 'How to honor him, respect him', etc. Now don't get me wrong, they have many good things in them, good points and things to consider. But there are times I have noticed, that my man didn't fit the 'text book' kind. He didn't feel loved the way they said a man would. Do all of us as wives feel love in the same way??

What 'shows' your man you love him?? After taking Shy's question, "If the entire Big House Estate was in a state of chaos, and the mistress had time to rectify one thing, what would you hope it to be?". I took it to heart and began thinking about it-hard!! I decided to ask my own Husband the question, but I reworded it my own way. And pretty much point blank. 'If I had only 10 min. to clean the house, what would you want me to clean up first??' After talking a bit about it, I found out he likes the kitchen counters cleaned, dishes washes, and table cleared. The toy littered floors don't bug him nearly as much as I thought it might. Or maybe I should say, as much as I thought it sounded like he should from things I've read. I guess, eye level things are more important to my man.

So this year, I've commited to keeping those areas clean(er). I know not every day will be perfect. Dishes are not my favorite thing to do, and I'd rather do them on a once a day basis. So it will take more time on my part to wash them 2 or more times a day. But I must admit it is wonderful to walk into a cleaned up kitchen, free of dirty dishes. The counters are clean and clear, everything is just ready and waiting for another project to be started there. (I say project, because I make everything from lotion and laundry soap to breads and desserts.


I've been feeling blessed, just knowing I'm blessing my Husband in this simple way. He may not say much about it from here on out, but in my heart, I know he cares and is appreciating it. 
 

A marriage takes communication. I think it is one of the most important keys. I just happened to read this post, after following a Works-for-me-Wed. linky. And was blessed. There are still couples working hard on their marriages, when Satan wants nothing more then to ruin them. A wonderful, loving marriage does not happen overnight. And I'm so thankful for this journey of love I'm on, that started a long while ago. If I would have known all the things the past year would hold, I'm not sure I would believe it. But God is good, He can take the rocky places and make them into stepping stones. We just need to allow Him to do it. And I am blessed because of it.

Things I Love...

...about my Husband.

• He loves me back.
• He takes interest in my interests.
• He gives me back rubs.
• He crawls out of bed very carefully every morning, making sure the blankets stay next to me, not allowing any cold air under the covers.
• He faithfully brushes his teeth everynight. And if his breath still smells bad, he'll cheerfully go back and do it again.
• He hauls the garbage out for me. And alot of times without being told.

• He will help with the dishes on a busy day or 'Just because'.
• He makes his own breakfast and cleans up behind himself.
• He throws his barn clothes in the washer, so I don't have to touch the dirty, smelly things.
• He listens to me talk, when he'd rather nap.
• He likes to take me on DATES!!
• He Thanks me for the meals I make, and reminds his sons to Thank their Mom as well.
• He watches the boys so I can shop alone, or will keep 2 so I only have to take one.
• He takes his boys with him when ever he can.
• He's a very good provider, and works hard.
• He enjoys getting down on the floor to play with our boys.
• He listens to me talk-even late at night.
• He loves to grill... making the BEST Pork Chops!!
• He supports my wild and often times crazy ideas.
• He reaches for my hand while driving to Church, or even just to town.
• He fills a cup of water and puts it by me bed each night.
• He loves me, even when I'm feeling unlovable and acting that way.
• He enjoys a good joke and loves to laugh with me.
• He can get into fun and playful moods, acting 'boyish'. They are PRICELESS times I TREASURE!!
• He helps me with garden work and in flowerbeds, even though he thinks they are a waste of time.
• He will make the bed, if I didn't get to it during the day, and he's ready to crawl into clean sheets.
• He'll fold wash.
• He goes for walks with me, even though it's not something he really enjoys doing.
• He tells me, "I'm the most beautiful woman in the world!!" And means it.
• He listens to me share my ideas, without mocking them.
• He supports me frugal indevors.
• He supports me goals of 'Natural Living'.
• He loves my family.
• He brings me flowers when I'm in a rough spot in life.
• He likes to reminisce about our Courtship Days.
• He's very strong and not afraid to get dirty.
• He lets me make mistakes, and lovingly helps me work through them.
• He prays with his boys every night and tucks them into bed.
• He is firm, but loving.
• He admits when he's wrong, and makes things right.
• He loves God and seeks His will daily.
• He tells me that he loves me.
• He is ONLY mine, and will be only mine, as long as I live.

Harmony in the Home

Did you know that , as a wife and mother, you set the mood in your home?? You know the old saying "If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy", it is so true!!! And so obviously the opposite is true as well!! If you are happy & cheerful all day, your homes atmosphere will be one of peace. If you don't get upset at your children, they are happier for it. They know Mom, isn't going to 'loose her top', just because 'I talked too loud', or 'accidentally spilled something', or seem to 'talk all the time', or do something else childish. And so the child is more relaxed and good natured. They don't fight and argue with their siblings so easily, and they aren't so whinny.

Why is it, that we as Mom's, think the world revolves around us?? It really does!! Much more then we even realize, and yet, we don't realize the full extent of the far reaching effects we have on our little worlds called HOME!! Many times, when my own day seems to be going all 'hay-wire', I trace it back to why I feel the way I do. And many times it's because I went to bed too late, thus either got up tired, or overslept. And you know how that makes you feel-snappish!! Short tempered!! Short fused… and generally out of sorts. And you know who it gets taken out on??? The ones closest to you-Your Hubby and Kids!! So you snap at them, soon they are snapping at you and the rest of the day takes a downward spiral. Unless you get a handle on it, by changing your own attitude, then those around you can change theirs too.

How often does your husband come home to a tense home?? Many times I can 'hold myself together', til my hubby walks in the door and then I lose it. Especially if the boys have been buggy all day, not having enough to do, or whatever the case maybe. Actually many times, it's when I am trying to make supper and they are hungry, so are in the kitchen 'trying to help me', whinny, ect. So 'til my man walks in the door, I am ready to turn them all over to him and go have some 'alone time'. And it is amazing how fast my attitude will have an effect on my hubby. I expect him to 'help me' out, when all he wants is to sit down and rest at the end of a long day on his own feet. If I'm being silent (my form of letting him know all's not well with me. And not right I know-I'm working on that one!!), he soon is snappy at the kids too. And it's not really even the kids fault!!! After all-it was Mom who went to bed late and got up late.

Do you treat your husband with respect?? Did you know that respect is something husbands-men, in general desire more then even love?? And we, as wives-women, desire love. A good book to read is 'Love and Respect' by Dr. Emmerson Eggerich. Do you do your daily household chores with a glad and thankful heart for all he does for you?? Does he know you appreciate all he does for you and your children?? Do you tell him?? You can be thankful for a man, who comes home to you each evening. And if you want him to continue that, then make your home a place he wants to come home to every night!! Do you have a meal ready for him?? His clothes washed?? His favorite chair ready for him, with the paper beside it?? Do you have your home tidied up, the basics of toys and messes cleaned up?? I'm not talking about having everything in a "Companies Coming" state, but just a neat and orderly look to it. It looks much more Welcoming to walk in the door to a neat abode. (Just think of the times you walk into homes that pretty much look trashed.) You can make it a project to do with the children 15 min. before Dad comes home, to do a quick pick-up of toys, ect. Doing that will also teach and show your children you love and respect him, thus instilling the same principle in them!!

Take this article for example-while it was claimed to be in a 1950's textbook-that has not been proven.

Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.

Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dust cloth over the tables.

During the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet.

Be happy to see him.

Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

Don't greet him with complaints and problems.

Don't complain if he's late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through at work.

Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or lie him down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

A good wife always knows her place.
Some of these things may seem a bit wild and far out... but God has called us to be Keepers At Home!! And just so you know, I don't practice all these things for my husband. But I do try to be sensitive to his needs when he firsts come in, which is kinda hard, with living on a farm he is in and out of the house all day. We are to be Proverbs 31 women/wives. I am still working on so many of these areas of life!! I am not perfect by any sense of the word!! But by God's grace I am learning and growing.

For more resources read "Created To Be His Helpmeet" by Debi Pearl and "Fascinating Womanhood" by Helen Andelin.